Kevin’s difficulties reaching orgasm are relatively new, but they’ve created frustration all around. Problems can arise in long-term relationships, too. Twenty-four-year-old Robert from Ireland says it’s hurt his confidence, “especially as a disabled man who already feels some anxiety about my masculinity as a result of my physical limitations and inability to work.” Ethan agrees, “It’s made one-night stands and short-term dating really difficult.” Not being able to get off causes some men angst, shame and relationship problems. Kevin, a 32-year-old banker in Seattle, says that getting off on his own is easier, “both as a function of getting the right kind/amount of stimulation and having time to work toward it without pressure from someone else.” Twenty-seven-year-old writer Ethan from Austin adds, “It’s an anxiety thing, so solo isn’t a problem.” Purely psychological factors may be at work, too. Again, most cases professionals deal with seem to relate back to antidepressants. Some practitioners have used the term “monotonous masturbation syndrome” to describe the specificity with which some guys jack off, but nobody truly believes that cranking it too hard will ruin sex with a partner. Read next: Viagra, Cialis and Ejaculation: Delayed Male Orgasm Side Effectsīut alas, to paraphrase Thomas Huxley, death-grip syndrome is a beautiful theory slain by an ugly fact: Death grip isn’t real - not exactly.As a result - so the theory goes at least - it becomes more difficult to reach orgasm via vaginal sex, since most pussies aren’t as tight as a closed fist.
Others, however, blame the infamous “ death grip” or “ concrete cock,” the alleged condition produced by the fanatic masturbator, wherein one’s dick becomes inured to sensation via frequent j/o sessions. Antidepressants, for example, are notorious for sexual side effects - one study found that 93 percent of men and women on clomipramine experienced partial or total anorgasmia as a side effect. Some of these guys have difficulties because of situational conditions. Over the last few weeks, I’ve spoken to a number of men who have a hard time getting off - some in any context, but typically, only with partners. writer James puts it, “There’s a million jokes out there shaming dudes who bust too quickly, so it’s almost weirder to have sex that’s going great to you - but since you’re not coming she thinks she’s doing something wrong.” The trope of the man who shoots his shot then rolls over to sleep is so ingrained in our collective psyche that it may be hard to imagine that there are guys for whom having an orgasm with a partner is difficult - or even impossible.